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What is ailing modern marriages?


Every day, a new couple gets married with the hope of staying happily together ever after. Unfortunately, almost half of all modern marriages are ending in divorce. According to statistics, most divorces occur between the 5th and 9th year of marriage. If it is the dream of every couple to stay married, what happened to the happily ever afters?

  1. Cultural changes. Society has changed and today many things that mattered in the past no longer do. People stayed in abusive marriages just because of status quo and the shame of raising children single-handedly, but this is no longer the case. Women have been empowered and no longer need a husband to provide for their children. Men are satisfied with getting children without committing to marriage. Some no longer see the need to work hard and are being kept by rich cougars who eventually kick them out. Young girls are also forfeiting marriage to go after sponsors. Social media and online dating have also interfered with the sanctity of marriage. People are flirting with everyone on social media, and some girls can only date married men. Affairs have become trendy and secret families the order of the day. Cheating is just like taking water, making people to lose interest in marriage and commitment to their partners.
  1. You married the wrong partner. You might be thinking you married the most beautiful lady around only to discover that she married your fat wallet, big job, posh home or luxurious car. Whatever you used to attract your partner is what they eventually got married to. Nowadays we have young men and women who are only after financial security, and so majority of modern marriages are established on the wrong foundations. If your partner is looking for a business opportunity or real estate, you might not last.
  2. Financial infidelity. Financial infidelity is killing modern marriages than extra-marital affairs. It is good to disclose your income and consult each other before spending. If possible, agree on who is going to take care of what responsibilities even before you marry. People come from diverse backgrounds and have different financial management styles, and this is where a counselor is needed. Learn how to share responsibilities and finances in a way that does not raise suspicion or degrade the other.
  1. You did not date enough. There is no length of time that can be said to the acceptable dating period. However, some people get married prematurely only to find out later that they do not really know their partners. If your partner has changed or started showing funny habits, chances are high that you did not take enough time to know them. Ensure that your partner does not keep secrets from you is by asking the right questions. Avoid getting married to a stranger, and you will enjoy your marriage as friends.
  1. External interference. This can come from in-laws, friends, job or even hobbies. There are people who are already married to their jobs and this makes it hard for them to create time for their partners. Others forget that marriage is a partnership that should cater for the interests of each of them. Every decision should be done in consultation with your partner. Once you settle down, you need to drop some friends especially those of the opposite gender. If you are still flirting with your secret crushes, holding secret meetings with your exes and sending money secretly to friends of opposite gender or visiting them, you are only preparing for an avalanche. Include them in your plans, and update them on your engagements. Don’t spend the entire evening or weekend drinking or meeting friends.
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