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Marriage is a partnership


Marriage, just like any other form of partnership, requires trust and accountability to work. Both partners have to be working on the same cause in order to achieve their goals. But marriages have been marred with secretive dealings that threaten to tear them apart.

Sometime ago, a friend told me about how his father came to introduce their half-sister who was getting married and even had to pay dowry for the half-sister’s mother according to their customs. This half-sister was already 29 by the time the family got to know about it, and to add injury on top of insult, he had to take up his father’s role in the girl’s wedding – against his wife’s will.

You have definitely heard about single moms who get married as single women only to disclose about their children when they are way past teenage. There was one case where a mother carried her daughter along pretending she was her sister, until later in the marriage when she had born three more children. This secret tore the marriage apart.

Need I mention the likes of John Kiriamiti who marry innocent girls who have no idea what they do for a living? I can bet that most wives of drugs dealers did not know that their partners were crooks. What about those who started to steal government money later on in life, putting the lives of their wives and children at risk? I know that it is the duty of a man to provide for his family, and most of the time men go to the extend of getting into dirty dealings just to make sure their place in the family is preserved.

It is not fun to see your partner dragged into a green GK with cuffs on his hands because he has been engaging in illegal business.

But business and children born out of wedlock are not the only secrets couples keep from each other. Others keep quiet about their health status for reasons they best understand. Some do this to cushion their families from fear, while others do it for ill motives.

What about men who lie that they are single just to win a night of fun, or those who hide their monies from family only to end up losing it to prostitutes, and those who raise secret families until they die? Have you ever asked why a person, for instance, would carry their mobile phone to the bathroom, lock their laptops, or block you from accessing their social sites (some do it creatively without raising suspicion)?

While some things are better kept secret, secrets can hurt a marriage. Do you believe partners should keep secrets and what are some of the things you would keep from your partner? Let us know in the comments section below.

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  1. If secrets are kept when in a marriage the relationship is voided. It is only among honesty, loyalty, honor and trust that a true connection can be made. Otherwise it might as well be an open relationship. Sometimes selfishness harms what we try to protect inevitably damaging or loved ones and even more so our selves. Guilt will set in which is something you can’t deny.