What is Stellah Wangu Day?
May 17th is a day Kenyans have come to brand ‘Stella Wangu day’. It is the day Fleshly Mwamburi’s girlfriend, Stellah, returned to the country from Japan where she was doing her studies. However, upon her return, Stella was already married and with a child, making Mwamburi, who was waiting with a guitar to sing her his favourite song, look stupid. The reason this day is significant is that the experience is way too common in the modern Kenyan dating scene. So, what are some of the ways Kenyan women are behaving like Stella Wangu?
Read Also: This is the most important thing in life …
How Kenyan women are behaving like Stella Wangu
It is absolutely okay to leave your lover for another. Both men and women believe they should have an average of 12 sexual partners before settling down. However, it is important to let your partner know that you are no longer in it and that they should move on.
Here are some of the bad dating habits by Kenyan women:
#1. Sponsor culture
Sugar dating is taking its toll on Kenyan relationships, and now young girls are only looking for somebody to sponsor their lifestyles. If you are a working guy dating a university girl, chances are high that she will drop you once she clears college. This is why most girls are now looking for only married men, and groups such as Watembezi Team in Limuru are gaining popularity. Men are leaving their wives and children to hang out with young girls who want money in exchange for sex. Women, on the other hand, are looking for a man who drives a Landrover, has a house in Kileleshwa, works in a multinational, can take her on holiday every quarter, buy her expensive wigs and other exotic gifts and in return, she is willing to offer sex.
While some men and women make it clear at the beginning that this is all they want, not everybody is mature enough to be honest. There are young guys who are looking for a wife but end up meeting the lady above. Now, if the girl does not tell him that she only wants a sponsor, he will invest everything into a dead relationship. He will pay her school fees, take her on road trips every weekend, do shopping for a whole semester, buy her the most expensive wigs, clothes and shoes only for her to disappear after graduation.
It is not bad to want a man who has money, but you need to let the innocent man know that you are not in it forever especially if he wants a serious relationship. Instead of leading him on, let him know that everybody is free to leave if it’s not working for them. And before you get into a transactional relationship, discuss your expectations and rules openly so that each of you may know what they are getting into in advance.
#2. Slay queen culture
Most young girls are getting their inspiration from the socialites. A big butt, big boobs, light skin, defined waist, and sitting pretty, all at the expense of a man somewhere. But fake lashes and tights have a price tag. And money does not grow on trees. She could be having a broke boyfriend who is hustling in ushago or working on his degree at the university. But because she needs money and jobs are not easy to come by, look for someone or some people to help her keep up with Madam Boss.
You have probably seen those pretty girls who ride on the fancy nganyas without paying a single cent. I have seen majority of these in matatus that ply the Lang’ata-Rongai route. She will leave in the morning and return in the evening and every evening for free! The conductor skips her when collecting fare, but comes back to receive some smiles and a little chat. Even in the estates, young girls are busy fighting for Johny the caretaker not because he is handsome but because he is the one who collects the rent and reports about occupancy rate to the owner.
The other type of slay queen is the one that wants to stay idle as a man takes care of the bills. Yes, there are women in this city who do not have permanent addresses. They hop from one boyfriend to another, and you will find them in clubs with a very big handbag looking for a man who can take them home for a night, which turns into a week or month before and before he knows it, she is in another man’s house taking care of chores as he meets her needs.
Goals are goals, and it is absolutely okay to live your life the way you want and pursue your goals the best way you know how to. However, you need to work hard to achieve those goals. Do not rely on a man to meet your financial obligations, hoping that you can slip away any time you want without a bye. In addition, do not promise a man a non-existent relationship or marriage you know you cannot afford. Get your own money and take control of your life early because soon, all these men will be married and you will be too old to hop from one man to another.
#3. Freedom to make a choice
One of the advantages of taking women to school is that it gives them the power to make better decisions. School gives women the freedom to make a choice. They can delay marriage by a couple of years, plan their families better and have the power to decide how they want to live their lives. A woman who has just graduated from high school does not think the same way as a masters’ degree holder.
When a woman is joining the university, especially from the village, the high school bae is all she has. He is her prince charming. That guy who used to seduce girls with the neatly pressed clothes his parents bought him – that was the trophy. But a girl joins the university, finds many good people from different parts of the country and world, intelligent people who have their own money, the campus students leader – very great people. Slowly by slowly, she discovers that the village boyfriend is not the right match. She needs someone who can lead and love better. Someone who sees the world from a global perspective. And unfortunately, she ghosts on you.
While it is not bad to find ‘someone better,’ it is good to end your current relationship and move on peacefully. And while getting into a new relationship, ensure that you do not promise a man things such as marriage or ‘yours forever’ because things change.