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Why am not married yet


What would you do if your dad today introduced you to your photocopy of a sister or brother who is also your age mate?

What would you do if your husband introduces you to his other wife and three children that you knew nothing about, ten years after your marriage?

What would you do if he leaves for another country, only for you to realize later that he actually had a wife and grown up children there?

Marriage is a puzzling thing, and every time I think about it, I am left with more questions than answers. Maybe it is because my parents were separated when we were growing up, and thus never got the chance to learn how marriage works.

However, the incidents above happened to people I know, some of whom are very close.

It’s been close to 30 years since I was made the grand entry into the earth, and am yet to see a marriage that has worked.

Most of the married people I meet feel that marriage is full of thorns, something that we who are not yet married should never desire. When asked, married women say they would stay single if they were given another chance. This gets me worried, especially because it is straight from the horse’s mouth.

Upon retrospection, I realize that marriage is much more than a husband loving his wife and a woman submitting to her husband. True, the Bible gives a clear guide on how a married couple should live, but with all this contamination happening around, marriage seems a dangerous venture to me. one needs to have enough shock absorbers to handle an errant husband.

Recently I came across a piece of literature saying that the current ratio of men:women is 1:3, meaning that three women are fighting for the attention of one man at any given time. I am one of those women who do not believe in sharing a husband. I cannot be number one, because I expect to be the only woman in his life. So, with all the mpango wa kando campaigns and social media where men burrow for hours just chatting, I do not know how on earth am going to get the faithful man I have always prayed for.

My friend says I am afraid of marriage because I haven’t met the right guy yet, and to some extent I concur.

I do not think any lady can say no to a guy who is faithful, submits fully to God, is willing to give up his pride for the sake of the relationship, acts like a gentleman and is full of love.

Until when God dispatches such a man, let me enjoy my singleness and find all faults that come with marriage as motivation.

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  1. I beg to differ friend. Marriages are working left, right n center. When I look around I see more functional marriages than dysfunctional ones. Right from church to friends n relatives. My senior pastor n other key people I consider role models have admirable marriages. Of course people differ on a few things but that never spells doom to a marriage unless if it’s life threatening.

    • I totally agree friend. I did not say that marriage doesn’t work, but the few married people I spoke to believe it’s a wastage of time. If all marriages fail, I strongly believe mine will be the first to work out – as God designed it!


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